My daughter just asked me to “run like an emo”. I had already slipped over on my own tears when I realised she meant “emu”.
It’s just gone 8.00am and I’ve already picked up one piece of human poo with my fingers.
Comments I’d rephrase for clarity if I had my time again (#14): “Daddy’s just going to wipe his bottom and make you a sandwich.”
Coroners must occasionally see things which test their professionalism and make them feel ill.
Changing nappies is like that sometimes.
My daughter vomited beef ravioli all over Igglepiggle and Upsy Daisy.
Narrate that, Sir Derek Jacobi.
Great moments in parenting: just had to use the phrase “That’s not what socks are for.”
The rate at which my daughter is acquiring new words is exceeded only by the rate at which my vocabulary is diminishing.
It’s amazing how quickly poo disintegrates in bath water. Well, maybe it’s not that amazing.