Chris Miles can currently be seen in the middle distance of the little-known Hieronymous Bosch triptych ‘Waiting for the 86 tram’.
My favourite light and appetising pop star is Peter Entrée.
I reckon even George Clooney forgets he was once Batman.
I have reluctantly accepted that I’ve reached a stage in my life in which I no longer know what different iPads there are.
I have, in the course of this evening, been forced — by circumstances beyond my control — to broaden my definition of ‘chocolate’.
My favourite column in ‘Mermaid’s Weekly’ is ‘Mere Mermale’.
‘Sound of Kubaz informant notifying Empire of presence of droids at Mos Eisley’ has become my signature morning fart.
Decided not to run for the train so as to spare its passengers from being in close quarters with a hyperventilating man-shaped blancmange.
It’s muggier out there than the mug showfloor at Muggy Meg ‘Crazy For Mugs’ Muggleton’s Mug Emporium.
Always the bridesmaid, never the brideshousekeeper.
Wanted to cross the road before the green signal but there was a guide dog in training next to me and I didn’t want to give it bad habits.
This oil bath* is going to feel so good. (* water shower)
Just saw a golfer employing the services of a self-propelling buggy. Just removing literally the only strenuous part of golfing there.
I wish I’d remembered, prior to going in for a big cuddle with him, that my dog had earlier today enjoyed a bit of a nosh on some chunder.
It’s almost as though with each release of Internet Explorer the team at Microsoft reads a different 62% of the current CSS specification.
- Dave Chauvinist
- Dave Animal Cruelty
- Dave Gun Lobbyist
From an earnest business conversation overheard on the 86 tram: “There are many ice-cream tribes in the ice-cream universe.”
The energy I gained from eating the first three-quarters of a large pizza enabled me to then eat the last quarter of the same large pizza.
My favourite kung-fu themed wholefoods store is probably ‘Polenta The Dragon’.
My first two farts of 2016 were (in chronological order) half-awake and bedroom-located, and fully-awake and kitchen-located respectively.