It wouldn’t be a stretch to describe me, in my weaker moments, as having a passive aggressive tem­perament. It’s a maligned trait; people would much rather you be aggressive aggressive. That way you get everything out in the open. People may get maimed or killed, but at least everyone knows where they stand. (Or not, if there’s been maiming and killing.)

Aggressive aggression led to two world wars during the twen­tieth century, and countless other ter­rit­orial and reli­gious con­flicts throughout the ages. One wonders how the world might be dif­ferent if Hitler had merely stood at the border of the Sudatenland, glowering across Western Europe and wearing a ‘Fine, keep your lebensraum’ T-shirt.

However, there are times when I can see the unhealthy and unat­tractive side of passive aggression. One mani­fest­ation of it in par­ticular makes me pity and despise the passive aggressor. You may have encountered it yourself. It’s when someone in your work­place or share­house puts up one of those trite, sar­castic and judg­mental notices con­cerning the kitchen fairy (more spe­cifically, the non-employment thereof on the premises).

I’ve seen numerous examples of the kitchen fairy notice, most recently a version in the form of a job advert­isement. I can only presume that a simple ‘Please clean your dishes’ notice would fail to a) achieve the desired outcome, b) fill the author with the requisite degree of self-righteousness or c) deliver quite the same Martin-Luther-nailing-his-95-Theses-to-the-Wittenburg-church-door feeling.