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I can’t decide whether ‘too much pizza’ is an oxy­moron or a tautology.


It was only later that I realised the dis­ad­vantages of eating a dozen oysters before getting on the plane.



Six day old bacon: safe or unsafe? For con­venience I am going with safe.


Thanks to the packet of liquorice bullets I just gobbled down, I now know how quickly I can sprint from my desk to the loo.