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In which gentleman scholar and committed insect-botherer Sir John Lubbock observes what happens when ants are forcibly plied with alcohol. Sober ants who encountered inebriated counter­parts from the same nest were more likely to move their hive-mate to safety to sleep off the effects of their imposed bender. Ants from other nests were more likely to be moved ‘to water’. (Or in other, less euphemistic words: drowned.)

In an 1877 Popular Science article describing the exper­iment, Lubbock complained about the diffi­culty of getting his myrme­co­lo­gical specimens suitably liquored up. It was not easy in all cases to hit off the requisite degree of this compulsory intox­ic­ation, he wrote. (Lubbock would spend the following year exper­i­menting with the effects of slipping roofies to woodlice.)


Fernet’s defining bitterness is layered with complications, like a well-lived life”

At one point during the tour, Branca, an impec­cably polite gentleman with enviable hair, opened the door to a dim, cavernous room and beckoned me in.

Here were acres of burlap sacks piled atop pallets and containing the 40 or so barks, roots, fungi, herbs, and spices that go into Fernet Branca. These include myrrh, gentian root, cinchona bark, orris root, zedoary, and saffron. To walk through the room is to recon­noiter a peculiar olfactory geography, crossing from the republic of one aroma into another, with the border­lands between the two sometimes under détente, but often not.

I ordered a Fernet Branca at Bar Ampere here in Melbourne in the other night. I ordered it because I liked the idea of drinking something that sounds like a Swiss mathem­atician. But it turns out that among the things I don’t partic­u­larly like are drinks that taste like iodine. In fact, drinking Fernet is a bit like tongue-kissing a First World War infirmary.

Having said that, I’m willing to give it another chance. This 2008 Atlantic article serves as a decent Fernet primer.


Home is where any reasonably accessible and comfortable horizontal surface is.


Today I unwit­tingly took both glass and alcohol to a glass– and alcohol-free event.


Misread “Half Island” on a wine label as “MILF Island”.

Apparently I’m not allowed to return the crate.


I think Orval is my favourite of all the beers that taste like Vegemite and saddle.