To this day military history enthusiasts are annoyed that Pat Benatar wasn’t more specific about which battlefield love is.
My school is having a twenty year reunion. Or in other words, an ‘In 40 years you’ll probably be dead’ pre-wake.
Eggs and tuna go together like mixed-up words and the Reverend Spooner.
It’s hard to believe that George Lucas’s inspiration for the Mos Eisley Cantina sequence did not come from Dandenong Railway Station.
Just witnessed the least surprising sugar meltdown since the Acme Nitrocellulose Film Co. moved its storage facility to Jamaica on the very same day that its sister company Acme Budget Fireworks sponsored the Caribbean’s first and only Guy Fawkes celebration.
My latest parenting revelation is that you shouldn’t ask someone if they’ve wiped their bottom unless you’re prepared for an immediate, demonstrative browneye.
Thought I’d found a spare, unused nappy on the floor! Now imagine the most extreme possible antonym for ‘unused’, and comprehend my horror.
Last.fm is refusing to acknowledge that at 12.14 on Friday night I listened to ‘Things That Make You Go Hmm’ by C+C Music Factory.
Is the ‘con’ in ‘chili con carne’ short for ‘consequences’?
Home is where any reasonably accessible and comfortable horizontal surface is.
Just back from a week at Phillip Island, where I set the Hipstamatic to random and took a few photos.
Objects I have mistaken for toast today include: a coaster, a pack of cards, my phone, a slice of untoasted bread.
My daughter has invented a new game, called ‘Is this my bottom?’ Rules: Point to any part of your body which is not your bottom and ask ‘Is this my bottom’? Winner: Everyone.
I keep going to put my phone in my pocket, but I have no pocket, because I’m wearing no pants.
I can’t decide whether ‘too much pizza’ is an oxymoron or a tautology.
It was only later that I realised the disadvantages of eating a dozen oysters before getting on the plane.
Is there a sultan of Bruny Island?
Just had to clean up a urine spill (in a wardrobe, no less), in the course of which I stubbed my toe on a xylophone shaped like a dog.
I knew I shouldn’t have crossed that peccary with that armadillo. I have too many peccadilloes as it is.
My daughter and I are playing superheroes. She has a sequinned cape, kneepads and a sword; I have a pink shawl and a handbag with a toy spanner with it.