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A short lavatorial farce (in three acts)

Two Players: a parent, and child

Act I

First Player: “I intend to make use of the lavatory. Dost thou wish to make use of same, afore?”

Second Player (offstage): “No.”

Act II

(First Player embarks upon stated assignment.)

Act III

(Pause, suffi­cient for first Player to have gained admit­tance to lavatory and made necessary prepar­a­tions for stated assignment.)

(Pause, suffi­cient for first Player to have partially achieved stated assignment.)

(Pause. [Brief.])

Second Player (offstage): “I need to do a poo!”

Curtain