Highlights of this year’s Royal Melbourne Show: a sign at the dog show which simply read ‘BITCH’; a man being set on fire; a sheep with enormous bollocks.
“Whereby the character cannot go back to the way things were before…”
Janet Fitch’s writing tip #9, on writing scenes:
What is a scene? a) A scene starts and ends in one place at one time […] b) A scene starts in one place emotionally and ends in another place emotionally. Starts angry, ends embarrassed. Starts lovestruck, ends disgusted. c) Something happens in a scene, whereby the character cannot go back to the way things were before.
“Funny writing and serious writing are not mutually exclusive”
The Telegraph’s Harry Mount detects a lighter mood and a sense of humour among the books selected for this year’s Man Booker Prize. (The exclusion of Monty Python’s Big Red Book from the 1972 longlist remains contentious.)
Corkboard gremlin

I put the kettle on the stove without realising that this cork mat was stuck beneath it.
Things I’ve been listening to
The Flowers of Hell, Candy Claws, MMOSS, Wintercoats, The Claudia Quintet, Matthew Dear, Christopher Willits, James Blackshaw, Zonotope™, INEVERYROOM, No Age and Sufjan Stevens.
Things I’ve been reading
The Body’s Edge: Our Cultural Obsession With Skin by Marc Lappe
Skin by Claudia Benthien
Bodily Extremities: Preoccupations With the Human Body in Early Modern European Culture by Robert Zwijnenberg
This is Shyness by Leanne Hall
“If the publisher is going to do less, the author wants to pay less for it…”
Mike Shatzkin, discussing the recent spate of authors who are sidestepping the traditional publishing model and going it alone, ponders the ‘unbundling of the publisher’s suite of services to the author’:
Publishers still pay advances although they’re doing their best to scale them back. Many don’t provide the same level of editing services that they used to; they often expect more books to be delivered by each of their editors and they also lean to agents they can trust to do a lot of the work of putting a book in shape.
There’s something charming about spam email prefixed with ‘Re:’. It’s as though the sender is being particularly sincere in responding to my queries about ‘raw power’ and ‘massive rods’.
Things I wish I’d known before disrobing for the shower: that the shower door was broken, and that it would take an extended period of grunting, swearing and bending over to get it back on its rollers again.
My daughter is having trouble getting to sleep. “I want prince,” she sobs.
Halfway through my acapella version of ‘Sexy MF’ I realised she was referring to the prince in Sleeping Beauty.
“Whereupon the creature’s fury seemed to be aroused…”
As thorough an account as you are likely to find concerning nineteenth-century encounters between human beings and giant squid.
(via Pharyngula)
Adventures in text
Get Lamp is a documentary that looks back at the era of text-based computer games. If you were born before, say, 1980, you might remember these. Basically, to get through the game, you had to type things like Go east, Take hammer, , etc.Touch lady
In the words of the documentary makers:
They presented puzzles, tricks and traps to be overcome. They were filled with suspense, humor and sadness. And they offered a unique type of joy as players discovered how to negotiate the obstacles and think their way to victory.
I remember playing a sort of ‘hardboiled crime’ text adventure on our old Amstrad CPC6128, and I surely must have played Zork at some point.
I later spent many hours playing Leisure Suit Larry, a more graphically advanced (and graphic!) incarnation of the adventure game, in which issuing instructions such as Touch lady were not only acceptable but encouraged.
(via Galleycat)
Our neighbours have had ‘Beat It’ on repeat for a number of hours. I am concerned they may have died in a spectacularly ill-engineered moonwalking attempt.
A daughter’s gift

Oftentimes the phrase “Daddy, I’ve got something to show you” heralds a token of dubious prestige. Like this, which my daughter pulled from the front pocket of the hoodie I’d just put on her.
Carbon dating puts its origin at sometime in the early part of 2010.
Things I’ve been listening to
Music by Sleepy Sun, Here We Go Magic, Grizzly Bear, Viernes, Marco Benevento, Beige, Weed Diamond, Blondes, CEO, Fol Chen and Kenny Graham & His Satellites, among others.
Things I’ve been reading
The thousand autumns of Jacob de Zoet by David Mitchell
The billionaire’s curse by Richard Newsome
The scarecrow and his servant by Philip Pullman
Off with their heads! Fairy tales and the culture of childhood by Maria Tatar
Voracious children: who eats whom in children’s literature by Carolyn Daniel
Dreaming of Cockaigne: medieval fantasies of the perfect life by Herman Pliej

Lacrosse is the most popular sport on the planet Mongo.
David Mitchell’s ‘Bygonese’
Novelist David Mitchell, in an essay on historical fiction, coinciding with the release of The thousand autumns of Jacob de Zoet:
To a degree, the historical novelist must create a sort of dialect — I call it ‘Bygonese’ — which is inaccurate but plausible. Like a coat of antique-effect varnish on a pine new dresser, it is both synthetic and the least-worst solution.
Our shitty printer is a Brother MFC-425CN. I have just come up with some imaginative explanations of what ‘MFC’ and ‘CN’ stand for.

As one of my Twitter friends noted, “Grandad looks as though he has just been handed a glass of post-war existential despair.”
(ryan k)

